Yes, it is possible to save your relationship!
Almost every relationship can be saved. Yes, even yours! Even if the feeling that the love has disappeared from your relationship prevails, your relationship can still be saved. It is possible to save your relationship if the following criteria are met:
- There is still “something” alive within your relationship, like a spark or a flame…
- You both want to save the relationship.
- You are both determined to do what is necessary to make the relationship work again.
So, what is happening within your relationship?
If you are dissappointed in your relationship, maybe its is because you and your partner have lost your skill to really connect to each other. Maybe the emotional pain in your relationship, makes it difficult for you both to be accessible for each other. Maybe your mutual commitment seems to have melted away.
Fear often plays a role: fear of connecting in a vulnerable way because you do not know how the other is going to react. That is how you become estranged from each other. In order to deal with this alienation, most couples develop a negative interaction pattern which traps them. This interaction pattern leads to constant tensions in the relationship. Now the partners feel unsave and disconnected from each other.
Couples trapped in negative interaction pattern usually do not benefit from: “breaking up and then trying again with another partner”. (There is even a great chance that you will continue with your negative behaviour in your next relationship, which will lead to a similar negative interaction pattern, just with a different partner!) Unfortunately, a negative interaction pattern generally does not end by itself. Couples therapy is a good way of repairing and healing the relationship and connecting again.
Save your relationship with EFT couples therapy!
Going into couples therapy together is a good way to save your relationship. I am specialized in the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) method of Dr. Sue Johnson. This form of couples therapy has been proven to be effective.
According to the Emotionally Focused Therapy method you and your partner are both OK and beautifull just as you are. But… somewhere along the way, you and your partner developed an negative interaction pattern together that does not benefit the happiness in your relationship. To save your relationship we thus need to address this negative interaction pattern.
During our couples therapy sessions I will help you become aware and unravel the negative interaction patterns that you have developed together. As your EFT couple therapist, I will take no sides and make no judgment about your actions. Together we will reflect on the reasons behind your interaction pattern so you can both realize how your behaviour causes pain to you and your partner. The causes of the interaction pattern usually consist of unfulfilled needs in the relationship, which may lead you to feel hurt, betrayed, or abandoned.
When you are both aware of your negative interaction pattern, I will help develop a positive interaction pattern, where you can communicate your needs in the relationship and what you can do about them.
An alternative for couples therapy
Some couples hesitate to go into couples therapy for all kinds of reasons. If you read a bit further, I will tell you what you can do about this hesitation. If couples therapy really is too big of a step for you to save your relationship, please consider enrolling in the ‘Hold me Tight’ relationship course. This course is based on the EFT couples therapy method and produces very good results.